Like you've never googled yourself!

So I googled Brought to You by Pie (yes, I am that vain) and alas, didn't find our little crack den corner of the Internet.

What I did find though, made my century. Yes, sorry guys who cure cancer and create robot Jesus, the best thing ever has already been invented and it's only 2010.

For anyone who loves executions the inquisition pie, check out this link

You can thank me later. With sex.

I'm scared to look...

I went on my first real bike ride in 7 years today. 60km round trip, uphill, both ways.

As I was bombing down one of the few, blessed downhill sections, a girl climbing the other way said "Hey Pie!" Well, obviously she didn't say pie, but you know, anonymity and such.

Come to think of it, had she actually said "pie" that would have been pretty awesome.

How she recognized me at such high velocity is beyond me. The fact that she then managed to register my face and shout my name in that 4.7 nanosecond window is pretty awesome. Almost as awesome as if she'd actually said pie.

I apologize, vaguely feminine blur, I did not have time to strike up a chat. I hope you're well. You're looking good. I assume.

Also, granola bars have never tasted so good.

Even more also, I am fairly certain there's a bicycle seat permanently imprinted on my ass now.

Ode to the Awesome

The other day my roommates and I were watching the Matrix (yes, it is still awesome) and as the credits started to roll I saw a name I recognized: Joel Silver, the producer.

After racking my brain for a few moments (I was now in the bathroom at this point) I suddenly remembered where I'd heard the name before... Joel Silver, the inventor of fucking Ultimate Frisbee!

My shouts of elation coming from the bathroom were no doubt unsettling to my roommates, but there was no time to worry about that.

I wiki'd him (no I don't bring my laptop to the toilet) and yes, it is the same guy. Among his other notable accomplishments are Lethal Weapon and Die Hard. This guy just makes wins.

So really, if you remember our earlier discussion about the origins of the frisbee, even the Matrix was brought to you by pie.

Did You Know?

Of the many contributions pie has made to society, this has to be the best:

The inventor of the first Frisbee was inspired by throwing around a pie plate with his wife at the beach. Of course he didn't call it a Frisbee, it was originally named the Pluto Platter.

In 1957 he sold the rights to the Wham-O company, who renamed it the Frisbee. Why? Because of the New England based Frisbie Pie Company and, we've been over this, pies are fucking awesome.

Man it feels good to drop the F-bomb. I bet you liked it too. It's okay, you can tell me.

Reason #9 why pie is superior to cake: You don't need to put icing on pie to get us to eat it! Zing!

Remember when Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake'? They cut her fucking head off!

Fresh from the Oven!

My favourite* pies in order of preference: pumpkin.

Seriously, why did they keep making pies after that? You can't make a better pie, don't even try. Greater minds than you and I have been broken in the attempt. Lemon meringue? The hell is that?

Contrary to popular belief, meat pie (or tortiere for the French/pretentious/preFrenchous among you) is NOT pie. It is an abomination and eating it is Sin.

So yes, this is my first blog post ever. Years from now (months?) when I'm an Internet celebrity (complete with twitter account, fan pages and fake nude photos), these will be immortalized as the first words I ever wrote. This is where it all started.

*you got me, I'm Canadian. And that IS the correct spelling. If you give me sass over "neighbour" or "centre" I will find you and I will unmake you.