So apparently a man was shot today. Well, I'm sure many men were shot today, but this one was particularly avoidable.
Synopsis: Man keeps loaded gun in his oven. Presumably in case someone breaks into his home and forces him to bake them cookies. Anyways, he forgets it's in there and starts the oven. Calamity ensues.
Where does someone come off thinking this is a good idea? What level of paranoia prompts you to keep a loaded gun in the oven?
Spoiler Alert: He survives... I'll let you decide if that's a good thing.
Showing posts with label calamities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calamities. Show all posts
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Viva la Revolucion!
So tonight I heard an unholy noise coming from the basement. It was violent and vaguely mechanical, like two robots either locked in mortal combat or fornicating furiously.
After a few moments spent picking out appropriate names for my new robot pets (Clanko and Mecha-Marty), I went downstairs to investigate and was relieved/disappointed to discover that it was just the washing machine pleading for a merciful death.
The machine had been shaking so violently it had ripped the front panel clean off. I looked inside to see all the gears and wires and watched the washing compartment desperately making a bid for freedom. Unable to bear it's continued suffering, I lifted the lid to end the madness.
I guess I'd never actually considered how complicated some of our appliances are. I was half expecting to see the washer elves stumbling out, rubbing their eyes and blinking in the light. Then I thought, if there are elves where will they go? Who will look after them? What are good elf names?
At this point I began to grow concerned. It was simply too much of a coincidence that my toaster AND my washing machine would self-destruct in the same week.
There was only one logical explanation:
The elves were rising up against me.
By failing to rinse my dishes before loading them into the dishwasher, I had unknowingly fomented the seeds of Revolution. Now the elves were organized, and they were pissed.
Now it's late and I'm hungry but I dare not open my fridge for fear of an ambush.
In the unlikely event that I survive the night, more Pie tomorrow!
After a few moments spent picking out appropriate names for my new robot pets (Clanko and Mecha-Marty), I went downstairs to investigate and was relieved/disappointed to discover that it was just the washing machine pleading for a merciful death.
The machine had been shaking so violently it had ripped the front panel clean off. I looked inside to see all the gears and wires and watched the washing compartment desperately making a bid for freedom. Unable to bear it's continued suffering, I lifted the lid to end the madness.
I guess I'd never actually considered how complicated some of our appliances are. I was half expecting to see the washer elves stumbling out, rubbing their eyes and blinking in the light. Then I thought, if there are elves where will they go? Who will look after them? What are good elf names?
At this point I began to grow concerned. It was simply too much of a coincidence that my toaster AND my washing machine would self-destruct in the same week.
There was only one logical explanation:
The elves were rising up against me.
By failing to rinse my dishes before loading them into the dishwasher, I had unknowingly fomented the seeds of Revolution. Now the elves were organized, and they were pissed.
Now it's late and I'm hungry but I dare not open my fridge for fear of an ambush.
In the unlikely event that I survive the night, more Pie tomorrow!
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