Still August 20 - So this is how the other half lives...
Part 1
Part 2
Boarding the plane from Chicago to Denver, the flight attendant looked at my ticket and immediately sequestered me away from the other passengers. Suspicious, I followed her to the forward cabin.
Oh Em Gee you guys, it finally happened. I had been bumped up to FIRST CLASS! I had stepped through the looking glass and into a better world.
Taking my seat, I was enveloped in plush, leathery softness. It was like sitting on a cloud. Stretching my legs to their full extension, I reclined in the comfort of the good life. Suddenly, I was a winner.
Cradling the remains of my deep dish pizza (you try and finish it in one sitting!) I sunk blissfully into my seat.
Shortly after takeoff (I had left the ground long before that) I was awoken from my revelry:
"Do you prefer red or white?"
"Excuse me?"
"Your wine, sir. Red or white?"
"Is it... complimentary?"
"It's all complimentary, sugar." Yeah, she went with sugar
"..."
Regaining my composure (what little I had), I requested the Shiraz, because I could pronounce it. She filled my glass. All the way. Evidently there was no need for the pretense of moderation. This was the good life, baby.
I decided to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Feeling like one of the old boys, I engaged my neighbour in some sophisticated, big man talk.
"Where are you coming from?" Stronger opener, I know.
"China. Yourself?" *Blink*
"Dubai." Don't judge me. You weren't there.
Our brief conversational duel was cut short by the arrival of the in-flight meal. All. Three. Courses of it.
The common folk didn't even get pretzels.
This was followed by a hot towel which I was thoroughly confused as to what to do with. (Did I just end a sentence with a preposition? Erin this is why you are my official editor.)
Determined to make me as "comfortable as possible", the flight attendants made it their personal mission that my glass never even approach empty.
I floated the rest of the way into Denver.
I'll be your editor, but after this story, I don't think we can be friends anymore :P
ReplyDeleteI would kill to be upgraded, especially on that one flight where I was sitting next to a behemoth who couldn't NOT touch my leg with his tree trunk. The entire flight.
That's when you bust out the "I don't feel comfortable operating the emergency exit" and get moved to a different seat.
ReplyDeleteNo joke, on the way to Turkey I was woken up by this horrible smell. It was the woman beside me REMOVING HER NAILPOLISH. WTF guys. WTF.