This was it. The wedding had finally arrived. However, seeing as how it wasn't until 4:00, we had most of a day to kill. So my aunts and I headed off to the nearby town (read: tourist mecca) of Telluride.
This place has a tourist info "center" (sic) the size of a city block. Inside is a woman who knows everything about Telluride and is determined to prove it to you.
For the record, Telluride was beautiful. We took a free gondola ride up into the Mountain Village -- a town so artificial you half expect to round the corner and see a pack of munchkins breaking into song. You know, like in those strangely erotic dreams you keep having. Just me? Nvm.
Narrowly escaping an immediate return trip, we leaped from the gondola and were immediately handed a fistful of coupons for various drink specials at the local pub. Telluride, you just get me.
Being a devout Adventist, my one aunt doesn't drink, smoke, or even talk loudly. The other, being our driver, had to maintain at least the semblance of sobriety.
I was not so burdened. That day I learned a valuable lesson: wine at 10,000 feet is considerably more potent than wine at sea level.
On our way back we decided to stop by the nature centre, because what the hell, I like nature. Also, I could feel some "nature" stirring in my insides and desperately needed to answer that call.
Ignoring the fact that the nature centre is inside, we entered, optimistic.
Now, it would be impossible to describe the whole nature centre, without vowels.
But here goes: Fckng Smll.
Seriously, the "nature" centre consists of a map, a man, a concession stand, and some baggies of authentic animal droppings which, being situated way too close to the Mars bars, could only be hurting their profit margin. Did you see a bathroom in that list? Neither did I.
Needing a place to make some "authentic" droppings of my own, we hightailed it back down the mountain. The rest is between me and the Telluride septic authority.
Now the part you've all (both?) been waiting for: the Wedding.
After "suiting up", we drove up the same mountain from my fateful run the day before. (The llama farm was real you guys!)
The wedding took place on this plateau called Top of the Pines, which had a beautiful, panoramic view of the mountains. Simply stunning. This was nature; the kind you don't find in "nature" centres.
It was a lovely ceremony. The reading from the bible (there was a lot of this) was made significantly more dramatic by the rumblings of the storm brewing in the distance.
Luckily, the weather held out. Rachel didn't show up to tell Ross she still loves him. To the best of my knowledge, there were no shotguns involved.
We finished the family pictures (wow we have a lot of family) as the first raindrops fell.
I'd call that endorsement from on high.
Update: Yes I did end up writing and performing a song. I was
No comments:
Post a Comment