The Monies!

Recently, I was the victim of bank fraud. I went to the ATM, as I tend to do, to deposit a sweet, delicious cheque when I was summarily informed that the operation "was not successful".

I'm sorry, you don't want my money?

I went inside to ask the bank teller, "What up?"

Evidently, someone had copied my debit card and used it to withdraw all the money from my chequing account. Jokes on them, though; wasn't much! Happy face. Sad Face. Face.

The helpful teller informed me that this in fact happens all the time (oh, I feel MUCH better now...) and that my money would be returned to me pending a short investigation. "Merely a formality."

Alright, I'll play ball.

So a couple weeks later, having survived by turning tricks on the generosity of my parents, I return to the bank to discover that yes, my money is back, but no, I can't have it.

Although the investigators deemed I was not in fact the one stealing my own money, they didn't go through the trouble of unlocking my debit card.

I felt like a fully grown adult kid in a pet store: I could see all the cute little puppies through the glass, but I wasn't allowed to have them.

See banks, this is why no one likes you. Give me my puppy already.